So the Big American Game happened yesterday and to be honest, I couldn’t be bothered to watch this mega-hyped sports-event where ultra-testosteroned, overly-padded/helmeted men rough one another up over the snarling possession of an inflated pig-skin… Said game occuring somewhere amidst the deluge of non-stop adverts reminding us of ‘who brought this to you’, a silly lip-synching girl flashing a middle-finger (oh good heavens) and a washed-up, embarrasingly-painful-to-watch pop-Diva strutting-up her idea of ‘the greatest show I’ve ever done for the greatest show on earth’ … Dear Lord.
Madonna - scary and unfathomable
Not forgetting the idiotic/annoying orgy of streaming banners and flashy camera angles for this ‘show of all shows’ either – Needless to say, for this scribe it’s all, well… a bit much.
Yet, as is the tradition that always outweighs and ultimately gathers more of our collective attention than the actual Game itself, the extended-length TV-spot adverts were what nearly everyone ever talks about in this TV-obsessed western world of ours. Most viewers simply tune-in to the Super Bowl broadcast just so they can catch the expensive Game-Day adverts…. Really..! Car-adverts included, of course.
Clint doing his best to inject a gritty, serious and weepingly patriotic tone to describe America's upcoming '2nd Half'
Here then, is a selection… some of them are even the extended versions!
Volkswagen – The Dog Strikes Back
KIA Optima – A Dream Car. For Real Life (really…? A wrinkly Motley Crue, in your dream…?)
Acura NSX – Transactions
Honda CR-V – Matthew’s Day Off (not quite sure if a rather bland/boring CR-V would be the vehicle of choice here…)
Chevrolet Sonic – doing human ‘extreme’ things
Chrysler and Clint Eastwood – It’s Halftime America (bit of an anthemic heart-tugger here)
Fiat 500 Abarth – Seduction
Lexus GS – The Beast (Lexus’ first-ever SuperBowl advert… not bad, not great)
Toyota Camry – It’s Reinvented
Chevy Silverado Trucks – End Of The World (quite possibly, the stupidest car-commercial I’ve ever seen – complete with an out-of-place ending stolen straight from the movie ‘Magnolia’)
Audi S7 – Vampires (riiiight…)